The Book Chook, like most of us, doesn’t have all the answers. But she’s passionate about children’s literacy and literature, and very willing to share her opinions. If you have a problem you want help with, send it to The Book Chook.

Dear Book Chook,

How can I make reading fun for my eleven-year-old son? (Josh’s Mom)

Dear Josh’s Mom,

If Josh has learnt to equate reading with lack of fun, what would help him to rethink that attitude?

Would he prefer to read in a subject area that interests him? Lots of boys who don’t enjoy fiction will spend hours poring over a magazine on their favourite sport.

Reading doesn’t always mean print books, either. Would he be interested in reading what his friends have written on a social network site? Is there something he really wants to do that you could help him find a website tutorial on?

One sure-fire way to kill fun, is to make reading a punishment. And don’t give up on reading aloud to him, just because he’s eleven. If he struggles with making sense from print, it may be more fun to listen to you read the story, or try reading it aloud together, making sure he can see the text clearly. Taking pressure off his reading that way might be just the thing to help him enjoy it again.

I’m so glad Josh has you on his side!

BC

Dear Book Chook,

How do I get my daughter to settle down at bedtime and actually listen to the book? (Desperate in Delaware)

Dear Desperate,

Congratulations on sharing the wonderful world of books with your daughter!

Kids need routines to help them settle, and feel settled. Wind-down time is good, maybe a warm bath, teeth-cleaning and a quiet chat about the day. These will all help a child realise the story-time routine is approaching, and soon after that it will be time to sleep.

If reading to your daughter has already become a daily habit, she probably enjoys books. Try allowing her quiet reading time on her own before you read to her. That will give her more time to relax and get into the mood for listening.

Is the book one she wants to listen to? Encouraging her to choose the read-aloud book gives her a vested interest in settling! Check to see what’s going on outside her room. Are there older siblings playing a noisy game that she’s missing out on? Making a peaceful oasis for the story will help, too.

Do you read the story with all your theatrical skills, bringing it alive for her? I have some tips on reading aloud as performance in Read Aloud Hints.

BC

Dear Book Chook,

My reluctant reader has found a series of books that she loves. She's reading two of them a week! And I don't have to nag her to read them. It's rare to see her enjoy reading so much. Seems wonderful, except that the books are below her reading level. They are easy chapter books for grades 2-3, and she's in grade 4. I know she could read more difficult books. Should I push her to challenge herself with a harder book, or just let her enjoy these? (Concerned Mom)

Dear Concerned Mom,

Congratulations on wanting what's best for your daughter! It's obvious you understand how important reading is for her future happiness and education, and that you want to do your best to encourage and support her.

I think it's wonderful that your youngster is enjoying reading. The idea of a girl who thought of herself as not liking to read, suddenly turning to books for pleasure, fills me with delight. I hope you will allow yourself to be delighted, too.

Where do these messages come from that we should "push" our kids, challenge them with difficult material, encourage them to read books that are branded with their grade level? Who says it's the best thing for our kids? It sounds to me as if they are trying to make reading a chore. Let's look at how adults read.

I've been a reader all my life. I enjoy reading and would suppose I am a "good" reader. Occasionally, I find a book that's difficult for me. The text is dense, and full of scientific words I don't understand. Sentences are complex. After two paragraphs, I feel like I've run the reading equivalent of a marathon. There is no doubt some would say I should persevere with such a book. It will do me "good". But do I? No. I slip it back on the shelf and find something I'll enjoy. Am I lazy, unchallenged? I just think I'm being practical. I expect to enjoy reading, otherwise I won't do it. The only times I read text that I don't want to read, is when I am a student and it's a course requirement. And then I employ all my wiles to ingest that information as easily as I can.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying that all learning must be fun or we should abandon it. In our less-than-ideal world, there will be times in all our lives when we must knuckle down and learn something despite there being no perceivable fun or pay-off involved.

What I am saying, and I believe this with every fibre of my being, is that if we want kids to LOVE reading, we should let them read what they enjoy, regardless of their perceived ability or grade level. There is nothing wrong with kids reading junior books when they are 16 or even an old chook like me. The key is to let them choose books they want to read. Encourage them to borrow as many books as they want from the library, buy comics from garage sales, whatever they want. If there are books you think they'll love, but they resist, consider sharing those books in a family read-aloud time. That way, you are widening the range of literature they encounter, but still giving them control over their independent reading.

When kids LOVE reading, it becomes something they want to do more and more. Books become their friends and open up new worlds for them. They learn to love words and what we can do with them, which in turn fuels their writing, and all their communication skills.

Sometimes it seems to me there are forces at work that want to rob our kids of their childhood. By trying to push them into learning they are not ready for, by making everything a competition and comparing our kids to some so-called norm, we are doing them a huge disservice.

I believe we must do our best to help our kids love reading. That is the number one priority in my mind. I urge every parent to make it their priority too.

Sincerely,

The Book Chook

Dear Book Chook,

Soon my son will be starting big school. Although he's attended play group and more recently pre-school a couple of days a week, I'm wondering what I can do to help him adjust to his new routine. Is there anything you recommend that we practice before the big day? (Concerned Mum, Gosford)

Dear Concerned Mum,

Primary School is different to pre-school in many ways. There is more timetabling and less choice of activity. There are far more children and adults, most of them unknown to your child. The buildings and layout will perhaps be vastly different. Children are expected to be more independent and to take responsibility for themselves and their possessions.

Many schools have orientation days or weeks. These are a great way for both you and your son to gain some idea of the changes you can expect. If you work, try to take time off so you can meet your son's new teacher and future classmates. Visit the toilet block. Make sure your son knows how to use a urinal and wash hands afterwards. Some kids have not used a bubbler for drinking water or certain playground equipment. This is a great time to look around and orient yourselves.

Sometimes, kids come to school with brand new lunch boxes or snacks. Does your son know how to open them? Are items of clothing named, and can he read his name so he can find his own? Does he know what to do with a wet raincoat when he takes it off? Can he untie and retie his shoelaces? These may seem small things, but mastery of them will make your son more comfortable.

Unfortunately, this stressful beginning time for Kindergarten children takes place during the hottest days of our Australian summer. New shoes and sweat often make blisters. Running around excitedly in the heat of the day can be exhausting. Understand when your child arrives home tired, over-wrought and dehydrated, and take steps to make him feel better. A cool bath or shower, changing into play clothes, and a healthy snack will allow him time to unwind before he's ready for more play or even homework.

Some kids start school with unrealistic expectations or fears. It's important to be as positive as possible when you're discussing big school with, or in front of, your son. If a problem should arise, don't hesitate to discuss it with his teacher. Above all, don't forget that while school can be an incredibly exciting and fulfilling time of a child's life, the most important relationship your son has right now is with you.

BC

Dear Book Chook,

I bought my daughter some attractive Phonics Work Books from a stand at our local book store. I want her to get a head start on reading before she begins school, and have been making her do them everyday. But it is like getting blood out of a stone! She drags her feet, whines, and shows no interest at all, even when I sit with her. What's wrong with my daughter? (Worried)

Dear Worried,

Giving kids a head start on reading is a wonderful idea! I think we should begin when they are babies. The very best way to do this is read aloud to them regularly from great children's literature. If you want some suggestions of books to try, there are wonderful blogs all over the kidlitosphere that offer reviews, and list books suitable for various ages. Or check back in the Book Chook blog archives for ones I've loved.

The great thing about sharing books like this with your kids, is that it teaches them almost unconsciously. They learn to love stories. They absorb the rhythms and rhymes of language. They learn to predict, use contextual clues to find meaning, and delight in repetition and surprise. Read aloud time is an opportunity to have a beloved parent close and all to oneself, while being entertained by the magic of reading. There's little whining or dragging of feet.

Phonics is a system we can use for helping readers work out words. Once kids understand that the squiggles on a page are letters, and those letters correspond with various sounds, they are beginning to build a method of "reading" an unknown word. It helps kids with writing and spelling, too. When children are ready to start reading independently, parents and teachers help them by referring to letters and the sounds they make. If a child wants to work out a word, sometimes identifying the sound/letter combinations can help eg "Oh look, there's 'cat' at the start of that word, then 'a', then 'pult'."

Because we want kids to love reading, and be motivated to read, I am very reluctant to advocate any explicit teaching of reading before a child shows readiness. Surround your child in print, sure. Literacy activities in the form of games are fine. Reading aloud and modelling reading yourself are just wonderful. But buying workbooks for your child who doesn't want to do them seems to me fraught with the danger of turning a child away from reading.

And that would be a tragedy.

BC

Dear Book Chook,

I like your blog. I like your ideas for kids to do writing and reading. I read where you say about how fathers should read with kids too. I told my husband he should read our son's bedtime story but he won't. How can I make him be a good model too? (Worried)

Dear Worried,

Sometimes I think the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" people have it right! Men and women often look at situations from different perspectives, and it can be tricky to understand each other. Let's consider some of the things that could be involved here.

When we model behaviour to our kids, we let them see us doing something. In your husband's case, if he's reading something like the newspaper or a magazine on a regular basis, and your son sees him doing that, then he's showing your son that reading is important to him. He actually is being a good model!

But it seems to me you'd like your husband to read aloud to your son, too. Some people just aren't comfortable reading a story aloud. But that doesn't mean they won't be comfortable sharing some other reading-related activities.

We mothers are busy people. Without meaning to, we can send out the signal to our families that there is only one way to do something. (I rediscovered this recently when it was revealed to me that there are two ways of hanging out our washing: the Book Chook way and the Wrong way!) Why not discuss your problem with your husband? Perhaps he'll suggest an alternative to bedtime stories, or he might be comfortable with one of the ideas below.

Could it be the timing your husband isn't keen on? Does your son's bedtime come at the end of long hard day's work when all Dad wants to do is veg out for a while? Maybe your husband might like to read aloud some other time? A father who's a morning person might prefer to read aloud at the breakfast table, or on the weekends.

Some men aren't comfortable with sharing a storybook with children. Is there something your husband does read that he'll share instead? If your husband likes to flick through a sports magazine, maybe your son could sit with him and they can talk about the pictures. You didn't say how old your son is, but especially when we want little ones to start winding down before sleep, cuddling with dad under a not-so-bright light, and talking softly about what's in today's newspaper can be worthwhile. Dad might like to read aloud from the Stock report. Okay, probably Junior won't understand a word, but he will absorb the rhythms and cadences of our language, and he will experience the enormous pleasure of having Dad to himself while sharing reading.

If Dad would like to be involved, but feels awkward plunging in to reading aloud, what about easing him in? Your family could set aside a definite time to be together. You could snuggle together somewhere and listen while Mum reads aloud. If Dad wants to take a more active role, he could ask questions about the pictures after the story is over. "Who's this, Turtle or Elephant?" "Fox in socks or Fox in box?" "Can you show me the biggest truck of all?" etc. If it's not quiet-before-bedtime, making up silly games about books is such a lot of fun, and really a wonderful help to beginning readers. Dad could pretend to read a well-known story, but deliberately change it, allowing your son to put him right. Most dads I know excel at boisterous play - there's no reason not to link that to reading. Sharing a story can be a great noisy pursuit too!

Worried, I'm so glad you enjoy my ideas about reading and writing with kids. Thanks for your letter, and I hope my ideas will give you some food for thought.

BC